There is so much information out there for women who are pregnant. At the time, I thought I did a pretty good job at learning as much as I could. But even with all the planning and learning, I’d still do things a little differently in the future. Here are 5 things that I wish I had done when I was pregnant.
1: Hire a Doula
I took a breastfeeding class, hypno-birthing, newborn care, and a labor and delivery class. Did I learn some stuff? Sure. Was A LOT left out? Heck yes. Looking back, there were so many things during labor and delivery especially that I felt blindsided by. It would have been nice to have someone in my corner who knew up from down. For instance, I didn’t know ANYTHING about being manually dilated or labor shakes. The dilation part wasn’t the worst part of labor but it wasn’t comfortable and again, would have been nice to know about ahead of time.
Labor shakes were another story. Apparently they’re quite common but I didn’t get the memo so when my ENTIRE body started shaking, I thought I was having a seizure. My husband went to find a nurse who then told us it was no big deal but again, labor is hard enough without being surprised by something that feels completely alarming.
2: Meal Prep, More
We’ve all been told to put away some freezer meals while pregnant so that you’ll have one less thing to worry about after your little one arrives. And I did that but I would do things very differently in the future. I made a bunch of lasagnas and pot pies, which my husband loved but they weren’t as convenient for me. I LOVED having some sort of soup in my crock pot at all times. That way, it was always ready and didn’t require me to sit down with a fork. I know that might seem nuts but trust me, it’s a game changer.
You can sip out of a mug while you’re baby naps on you, while breastfeeding, and while pushing a stroller. Try doing any of that while holding a plate and a fork. Plus I did my best to get everything I needed into one meal. I love using bone broth with chicken or beef, and then some combination of kale, zucchini, fresh garlic, sweet potatoes, or white beans. The sky is the limit.
The other thing I wish I had made more of was snacks. Things I could toss in my diaper bag, or grab in the middle of the night. I avoided gluten, dairy and refined sugar when I was pregnant and nursing but I was always hungry, especially in the middle of the night. I did make a batch of Paleo blueberry mini muffins ahead of time which were the perfect midnight snack but I ran out about 4 days in. In the future I’d make the mini muffins again but more than just 2 dozen.
3: Work with an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant
Did you know that there are several levels of certification when it comes to a breastfeeding consultant? I took a 6 hour class and had 2 consultants come to my room after delivery and there were STILL things that I didn’t learn about until my son was 9 months old. By then he wasn’t latching anymore.
I started following an account on Instagram called Holistic Lactation which led me to their podcast. My mind was blown. I had an enormous amount of anxiety thinking that I wasn’t producing enough, I was told that my chapped and bleeding nipples were “normal”, (spoiler alert, they weren’t), and had no idea about looking for tongue or lip ties. All of this could have been avoided if I had known about/worked with an IBCLC.
4: Join Social Media Groups
As a first time mom, I worried a lot about if I was doing things “right”. There were things that would happen that I hadn’t learned about and I’d think…I’ve never heard anyone talk about this before so there must be something wrong with me or my baby. Then, after my son was about 3 months old, I joined a C-section moms group on Facebook, and then a first time moms group and everything changed.
I was seeing post after post of questions that I once had, proving that I wasn’t the only one. And on top of that, 100’s of comments from women who had advice or offered solidarity because they were in the same boat. The weight of so many of my anxieties had been lifted and I didn’t feel so alone anymore. I can vividly remember thinking…why didn’t I join these groups sooner?!
On Instagram, I started seeking out pages that seemed aligned with what felt natural to me as a mother and soon, every time I started scrolling, I was flooded with posts about moms feeling the same way I did.
For example, my son wouldn’t sleep without me and I was okay with that but I hadn’t learned anything about safe co-sleeping so I was terrified that what we were doing wasn’t “normal”. I started following accounts about safe co-sleeping and baby led sleep and I have never looked back. Becoming part of a HUGE community of women and families that support and encourage one another has been such a blessing. I can’t recommend this enough.
5: Ask More Questions
Some of the best advice I received came from me asking other moms these 3 questions:
1: What is something you wish someone would have told you?
2: Is there anything you’d do differently in the future?
3: What things would you do the same?
Ask moms you know, ask moms in social media groups. Just gather as much information as you can and then do what feels right for you.
One friend told me that she wished she would have held her daughter when she napped more. I made sure to do this often and am so grateful that I did. Now, I have some of the sweetest pictures of my son sleeping so peacefully on my chest. I LOVE to look back at those and reminisce about those sweet baby snuggles.
Someone else told me not to take any tags off of clothing or wash them until you’re sure you’ll use them. I was able to return/exchange SO MANY outfits that my son didn’t get a chance to wear because of that tip.
Whether you’re pregnant, hoping to be pregnant, or reading this postpartum, I’m honored that you took the time to read this. As always, these are things that worked well/didn’t for ME but everyone is different so take it all with a grain of salt. I’m proud of you.
If you’re pregnant and wondering what to do for your labor and delivery nurses, click here. I share what I did to say thank you and what I’d do differently in the future.
