I can vividly remember thinking that I had completely lost who I was when I became a mom. I didn’t do anything of the things I used to. My days looked completely different. I barely recognized this new person looking back at me in the mirror most days. I was changing by the minute and didn’t know how to not get lost in motherhood.
This was just part of the deal right? You become a mom, you get lost in motherhood. It made sense to me. You’re so completely in love with this little person that you focus all your energy on them and lose sight of yourself. Then, when my son was three, I flew to Florida from Michigan to see a friend in a play. Just a quick one night trip by myself with friends. While there, a friend said the following to me…
“I’m so glad to see you getting out and doing things like this, I see so many moms get lost in motherhood and I’m glad you didn’t”.
I thanked him for saying that and acted as though I hadn’t felt like I had lost myself about a million times over he last three years. This wasn’t the first time I had done something without my son but leaving him, even for just a night is terribly difficult for me. My little boy has my whole heart and being away from him makes me miss him deeply. But you know what? That’s okay! I love my son! It’s okay that I miss him and enjoy being with him!
For so long I believed I had become lost in motherhood. It took someone else saying the words out loud to me to see what what my life had truly become. The truth is, I didn’t lose anything. I’ve gained everything.
What I’ve Learned
I’ve discovered parts of me I didn’t know existed and learned more about myself than I ever thought I could. I learned that I’m not as patient as I thought I was and that my body is a lot stronger that I give it credit for. I’ve learned to stand up for myself and the decisions I make as a parent.
There are so many other transitions in life that we go through. Each one adding value to our lives. They show growth and maturity as we move from one aspect to another. We aren’t looked at as being lost in college when we leave our high school lives behind. No one says we’ve lost ourselves in our careers after college. If anything, I was always praised for devoting myself to my career before I became a mom. Motherhood shouldn’t be any different.
Moving On Isn’t A Bad Thing
I’ve been a high school cheerleader, a college student, a stay out all nighter, an early riser, a traveler, a workaholic, a roommate, a boss, an employee, the list goes on and on. Just because we move on from one aspect of our lives to another, doesn’t make us any less of ourselves. It makes us more.
I poured everything I had into each of my past roles and jobs. I studied hard in school, went to work early and stayed late. If a friend needed me, I was there. If a vacation needed to be meticulously planned, I planned it. Why would raising my child be any different?
If anything, I wish I could have embraced getting lost in motherhood sooner. I’ve been caring for a life! And one that I created! The stakes are high and the training is real low. So yes, I’ve given a lot of myself to this new and important season of life. But I am not lost. I’m right where I’m meant to be.
If you want to read more about my journey through motherhood, click here or check out my Instagram page here
